The Deepest Sacrifice

The newest blossoms which was much awaited have finally flourished in the newly made garden, the decorations were on their height and it was all set for a warm welcome to the newest kids to fulfill the touch required for the garden to smile. The atmosphere was so pleasant that the anxiety of any fear was meant to be overturned. The introduction to a new level had to be done by the respective parents who have finally started to fill the seats, the stage is ready, though unknown to each of the small kids.

Yes, I’m talking about that secondary School No. 36, I’m not too sure what the pronunciation is, located in Tver, an administrative area in Tver Oblast, A place not very much far away from my house, an area in the north of Moscow.

It was basically a rainy season, during the summer vacations, in the month of June and the rainfall was always hard at this part of the country all through the year keeping it always cool. Though the forecast said it would rain but I could hardly see any clouds on the sky.

The innocence on the eyes of those little fellows could may have distracted god and the change in its schedule was always on the cards just to give them a bright start ! The phases they have to go through, and the life they would be leading after 20 years from now on, the hardships they would be dealing with, which would eventually take out all the innocence and lastly to get struck in a road which never ends !

 God would also have pity on them !

Nevertheless, it was a bright sunshine morning and was time to begin the celebration. The little ones got admitted into the school, and as it happens, the first day, that first class without your mother, a fear always surrounds the mind. But the sisters were very much caring so the primary level of education didn’t have that much of a problem. One of my neighbours’  son, named James, Arvinder James, of Indian origin got to the school to start with a new step.

7 years later….

It was a turnaround. There had been a lot of disturbances between the Romans and the Jews which took a toll on the church. he discrimination for the girl child again started to happen on the intervention of the Jews over Romans. And the effects could be seen in this area too. The drastic fires damaged the whole area, and the school had nothing left except for the unlikely debris which was also a rare to find when most of the people were burnt in the war. The government tried to look for a serious solution but nothing worked in their favour. The possessions grew worse and worse.

A girl from the neighbourhood was also admitted. She was basically an NRI. Her name was Christine Donald, a girl from a well known family of business class and her father was a renowned business man in the states of Maynooth, Ireland. Situation didn’t permit them to live their for any single time. The hearty mother of Christine suddenly found a boy screaming. His house was so drowned to fire and eventually he lost his parents in the war too. He was none other than Arvinder. The education career had to be set up and a person such high emotions was hard to find in that area. The whole family of Christine with the little boy Arvinder moved to Dublin in Ireland. The parents took care of both the children and helped to get the secondary education from the Holyfaith Secondary School in Dublin City.

The friendship developed between the two in the due course of time. Both used to share them their thoughts and beliefs and they happened to be the best friends of everytime. Both belonged to Catholic ethos, so the prayers, education didn’t hinder their normal life style and the friendship.

It was time again to leave for the college days which everyone feels to be quite excited about. New friends, new classrooms, the professors, sensible learning, sense of being a grown up and that feeling of responsibility to the family, to parents, to friends, to lover, to everyone.

The time span of 3 years started to come out as the bachelor at the Trinity University, Dublin and the place where I’m living in now.

Lover !

Yes ! That is what everyone is interested especially when a bunch of friends are present. Arvinder’ s friend circle had a lot of funny as well as helping characters. Daniel, Ricky, John, Dave, Stirling were some of his friends. So was the case with Christine too. Her roommate Diana, her friends Megan, Josephia, Brady, Gwen were very interested to know about the guy. Christine used to walk with Arvinder, they used to have lunch together. During the holidays they used to travel together. And so went the glorious first year of college.

Suddenly, one night, when everyone was on their bed to sleep, next day was Christmas, arrangements were done for the celebration, after a tiring day, Arvinder started asking about Reshmi, a girl from the southern part of India, from the Kozhikode city of Kerala. Reshmi Edwards was a decent girl and Arvinder fell in love with her. She had a very beautiful voice whose tone just moved him away and his fascination for music was also a reason to fall in love with that girl. He grew more romantic after he met Reshmi after a day’s class.

The situation was not same now. He asked Christine not to disclose the matter in the house. She was never comfortable in watching them together, hard to understand the reason for everyone then !

Arvinder and Reshmi used to live everytime together, for Reshmi started liking him too. Arvinder would compose his new songs and share it with Reshmi which she liked very much from Arvinder. The days went on and so were the studies and everything was so perfect that it never happened to have any blunder or miscue in anything. They were together but never intended to speak anything from their mouth…. Their heart says it all !

During these days, Reshmi and Christine also meant to become very good friends, but the fear of losing Arvinder was always on Christine’s mind. The way he has adapted to her family, the free mentality in him was liked by each and everyone in the family and that sudden ignorance was eating her from inside. The trauma was growing big and big and Christine started showing the signs of abnormality. She used to scream at Arvinder at times and she was never happy being without him too. Arvinder didn’t know how to tackle this. So he switched to Reshmi, asking about the problems Christine had, and slowly he used to follow Reshmi’s instructions to care for Christine.

It was 17th December 1981 and was the birthday of Arvinder which Christine’s family made out after so many documentary verification from the Govt. of Russia. Arvinder’s father was a priest by profession, named Joseph Dawn and his mother was from a migrant family of Punjab in India. Her mother turned to christian to marry his father.

On his 21st birthday, eventually happened to be his 1st birthday celebrated in Christine’s house, she gave him a gift, which consisted of a diary and a card which wrote, “May my soul wrap within your heart and Jesus does I don’t find anyone more handsome than you and one day you find me as the most beautiful lady to hug and kiss, to have me in your arms for the rest of your life, I would gladly accept the proposal to be your only servant”. And that was kind of a shock for him. He never could say this thing to Reshmi, but such a beautiful note was not meant to be drowned to river either. 

He started to act so innocent that night as he hasn’t encountered to anything serious and he too could believe that such a heart touching proposal was never said to him by anyone. He looked into Christine’s eyes with a hint of tears and tried to say a lot of things which he could not. Day by day the situation went worse. Christine was getting anxious but Arvinder had no time except for his lunch time, that too with Reshmi. He somehow completed his Doctorate in Music from Trinity University and got a massive offer to produce music for one of a big budget hollywood film in US. Reshmi stood in the Dublin International Airport to bade him a goodbye and to wish all the best, there stood Christine. Arvinder has always feared of losing Christine after he read that note on this 21st birthday and he was careful too not to disclose it anyway, so he kept only that note with him to the trip of US.

It was for a change in US. The social networking sites were no more blocked in US and Reshmi too had a job to do in Cardiff in Wales. They both used to talk to each other, update their progress in work and they lived happily on their part. The only thing that was bothering Arvinder was about Christine. He had no information of her, but anyway he used to send lovely gifts to her, some money to her parents who eventually became his too.

Suddenly, one day Arvinder fell ill. Reshmi was so concerned of his illness that she herself flew to Los Angeles to look after her for a while. Christine who was very good in literature was on that same flight as she was going to receive a award of writing a beautiful fiction. Both did try to make themselves as free as possible but it was never meant to be so. Christine heard Arvinder being ill from Reshmi, but they did somehow landed at Los Angeles. Reshmi had only couple of day’s holiday and it was all upto Christine to look after him. When Christine heard that Reshmi had to leave after 2 days she was so happy that she danced like a child around his bed and that made Arvinder laugh a lot. But anyway he used to talk to Reshmi in skype.

It was 2nd October 1989, and the day was to receive the award, which she didn’t go to receive as Arvinder was ill. But Arvinder still didn’t stop talking to Reshmi. It created a pain which in order to overcome, Christine started doing things and she used to go mad at everything. She used to behave as she was so important to Arvinder which he instead of disliking was surprised to see. He sat with Christine to ask about the parents…. And then…..

Christine couldn’t stop her tears. She wrapped around Arvinder, pleading to accept her, as she has no one left except for him. She explained about the happenings that took place back in Maynooth. Her father was attacked by a group of Romans from the Catholic because of having adopted a child from the street. Her mother was killed and she ran away somehow seeing her parents would be dead shortly. Arvinder experienced a sudden change in his feelings when she heard this and didn’t know how to respond to that. 

After that day, the condition of Christine’s health started to deteriorate. She acted like she was very fit to work on but Arvinder knew her from the closest. He knew something was wrong. She started behaving like a child, started having hardcore makeups over her face, would give a loud scream whenever she visited any party with Arvinder. Arvinder was so broken inside that he felt for the girl whose family actually saved his life in his childhood and now he couldn’t do anything for them. He talked to some of Christine’s friends to ask how she had been in the past few days, and surprisingly everyone said it was all about him. “I love Arvinder, and I would live my life to be for him and with him”, Megan explained what Christine used to say everytime she was upset. She started showing signs of a mental disorder where she was not fixed in her works, she was no more able to identify things, distinguish things and would act as if she was the most important lady to have known everything in this world.

He took her to the doctor to have a regular medical checkup. He secretively asked the doctor about any problems and explained the symptoms of any she used to show in house. After a CT scan, doctor discovered the disorder and told it to be a Narcissistic Personality Disorder which she was suffering from. And it was meant to be cared for. A certain volts of lightning fell over his head when he thought of resolving this triplet – Profession, Relationship and the Protection. He had to be determined in what he was supposing to. The next day, Reshmni called him to know how was he doing. But it was not the same Arvinder she used to meet to. She enquired whether there was any problem or something. She used to love him so much that she could not resist to live more in Wales and thought to shift to Los Angeles. When she turned up in Arvinder’s house, she saw Christine sleeping on the bed. There on his table Reshmi found that note which Christine gave him on his 21st birthday. Reshmi thought Arvinder cheated on her and she was not interested to listen to anything what Arvinder said. The noise woke Christine up and seeing Reshmi she grew so violent that it was difficult for Arvinder to control her. Then Reshmi understood the fact why was she caring so much for Christine as Reshmi did understand Arvinder a lot. The tears of being separated started to flow down and it was all on Arvinder’s choice that she had to leave though Arvinder never wanted her to. Somehow he stuck to his job to serve Christine. The time just flew away and he stayed always with Christine to save her from being destructed.

He was transferred and moved to Delhi, where some great grandfather of him was born and was a nice time to spend in a more homely looking country. He celebrated Christine’s birthday, used to take every care of her, and those regular medical checkups.. He was spot on to the dates ! He provided an open space where Christine could run, fly, do whatever she liked. Arvinder took a lot of care of her foods, medications. Sometime he used to go out with Christine on a long drive and she would do a lot of fun, sometime would fall asleep on his shoulders. “That was the happiest time I have ever had”, says Arvinder.

9 years later….

It was 7th July 2007. Christine was turning 45. Suddenly she asks for a marriage. And the way she told, it didn’t take even a second for Arvinder to say “Yes”. He was to turn 47 later that year, but still those memories of having done something for somebody relieved him a lot that he always wanted to stay with Christine. He was almost crying when she asked for marriage and was smiling too to have children and that too in this old age ! One of Christine’s friend named Steve assisted to be her brother and Arvinder was finally getting a chance to get married. The doctor came to check Christine and he told to Arvinder, “It was almost difficult to treat her if you were not by her side. It was important for someone who understands her well to stand upto the task, and you have done it quite sincerely. Thanks for that ! Have a happy life. Wish you a very fruitful life ahead. I’m no more required for your service. Never ever leave her. She loves you a lot.” Arvinder could take a breather to find himself in the space. And what happened after was all left to the mercy. But their love have stayed so big from nowhere anyone could have imagined to.

They did adopt a child. Arvinder was transferred to Wales again where he eventually worked with Reshmi as one of his colleagues. She too was married to the boss of the company and had two beautiful daughters. But the memories also remain intact. Christine, a Doctorate of Philosophy, got a chance to teach literature in Cardiff High School, a Secondary school. They had their son to grow up, had a happy family and the last time I met him was on his 50th birthday in 2010.barcode (5)

What are the funniest and interesting proxy/attendance incidents at NIT Durgapur?

Answer by Anonymous:

I was in 1st year and was having physics class and it was asked to give proxy of a number which was 10 ahead of me. i shouted at his roll no. when i found the guy asked to give proxy of that no. shouting at that and later it was discovered that the no. which was asked for the proxy was himself present. Vekanna caught the other guy who shouted with me. and then the proxy roll no. gave the attendance of mine as Vekanna saw me before but the one shouted with me himself didn't get the attendance.

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What did Independence Gain ?

This is what we started a long back, a time when no one would have imagined a country so free yet so poor ! People seem happy these days, happiness from outside, not from inside. I did start my blog thinking of some enormous things, but it looks as if it is not only the hardest but infact the most brain starining job to maintain a blog like this. So, today, I’m here to say something regarding our Indian Independence, a word that makes the eyes of every Indian to tear up, tears fall down, eyes glitter in those tears in search of a season they are hoping for a long time.

This is 2013, I’m a member of the Google products for almost 10 years now, and still it is hard to know the exact story of our Independence.There were a lot of sayings that turned our head up but has made us to kneel down. Right, I’m talking about this 66th anniversary of our country’s Independence. So much has changed within these years or so that it is very difficult to find our own old marks. But this is an era where we just have to move on.

Let us start from 1947, the day when a treaty was signed to accept the free India by Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru, a resolution to see a smiling, dreaming, grooming, green India was taken and a system which promised a lot of things were taken into account. Education was lifted up, so was the culture, the fields of agriculture, literacy were taken utmost care of. And now it is all a chaos, difficult to identify which way the demand of traffic has moved. Though it keeps on fluctuating ! As I talked about the starting, many people were saluted for their sacrifices and were given a lot of respect irrespective of what they did and where they are at present !

Let us make my discussion a bit short, in points and let each stanza discuss some two-three problems that comes to my mind.

First, the most important aspect of leading and living a healthy life is shelter. It is very important for people to have atleast a place to sit in. There had been instances where people were asked to wash out the place they were living in and no rehabilitation was provided. The population rise is too much these days and it is quite difficult for the government even to control this. These days are of the concrete jungles where one will find difficult to breathe at times. It is a question from several sections of society whether it is mandatory to cut all the jungles and if it is so why people still have to live in slums ! Government is still having a research on this topic would be a great irony to the question though the answer is anyhow not satisfying.

Next what comes to my mind is the quality of fooding and clothing that are being provided. It’s us who read these carefully, start thinking about the solutions but ultimately are unable to solve our own problems. The major issue which has raised in case of food is the maintenance of crops and harvest fields. It was said that crops would be our greenery and water will fill their thirst too. In this modern world people would call you a troll if you are trying to teach these basic principles. The era of genetically modified crops has influenced the brains of people so much that they don’t bother thinking about the naturally occurring things and would give a fake laugh when they actually are not understanding the meaning of these lines !

Education is the most important aspect of a country. It’s this education which will give a child a hope to see his future, to write his future, to look into the world with his own view. There a re still people who can’t afford their children for the formal education. When I consider the education system, I personally feel criticized to be a victim of such a system, a system which don’t have rules in them, nothing relevant that they can show to this modern world. Teaching, the syllabus are set by those people who once started learning all these.

At the outset I would say that the present India is horrible to live in. It may be marked as a developing country just by looking at the market, their own shares and most important term is the Globalisation. This has led to a lot of developmental programs which has benefited people but also have led to the downfall of people who aren’t stable to face these changes.

As a person if I look at my own country, I don’t feel ashamed to be a son of it, but I rather feel pathetic when I see the present scenario of it. The word “corruption” has become the mother of everyone’s lips and we are not able to find any solution to the problems that we are trying raise up. Everything has become a big block and external pump is being provided to it to move on. It’s high time when we start believing that we are intelligent enough to drag ourselves up to the miserable situation we have fallen in. Did anyone try to encounter the figure or base that are being invested just in gifting jet planes to the dignified professionals ? Or did anyone atleast tried once to filter the taxes that we pay ? Does anyone know where do they go ? The answer is simply “No”. It’s not because people don’t want that but the system has become so fast and furious that we just run to save ourselves and in the process we lose ourselves. Just the lack of time is paying the curse on people and they are just sitting dumb !

There are times that people are trying to pay respect to the martyrs, the soldiers who selflessly fought and went away from our land just to provide the enjoyment that we are consuming now. They are to be wished for the Independent India and I’m sure every Indian would be doing the same at this point of time. But one must not forget about the current happenings and the sufferings of humankind instead of these long 66 years independence. Emotions have driven away far and now its time to open our own eyes and start making things happen of our own !



Wish all of you a happy Independence Day and hope this wish may do the things we are wanting to do ourselves !


Who am I ?

When I’m on the process of explaining my last 9 years, I find myself in some kind of an awkward situation. I’ve been to many awkward situations but this is something new for me. Something to take with of my power of imagination, that has been enhanced by the rubbish 9 years of mine, that I’ve started predicting things, even the most astonishing ones, which either looked would not be likely to happen or I wasn’t able to predict the exact thing. These words may seem rubbish too, but it’s something that is really happening to and for me. Wherever I go, whatever I do, atleast I didn’t expect such things to happen to me anyhow. This is my nature of keeping or kicking me out of the way where I see two roads to join and I’m a kind of a barrier to it. I feel I’m an expert in breaking those barriers. Personally, I’m saying, it makes me smile the most when I suggest something to others, infact people come and take suggestions from me ! and those pay off at times. I don’t like any kind of compliments to be given, that is why I’m putting these here, in this blog as not people know about this blog of mine.

There are many instances in life which teach you a lesson, a lesson of life, and you are automatically matured to the world, the words you say will automatically be accepted by others. Now it’s hard to leave people, those people who got so close to you, no matter how you are, without any reason, and there are some untold relationships that everyone will look moving their eyebrows up, but the beauty of being a bridge is even sweeter than ever you would find. I’ve been the bridge as well as the barrier at times and that I’ve been able to protect, detect and break many relationships as well, though I’m still going single ! It’s seen as a problem or curse or maybe I’m a fool, whatever, it doesn’t matter to me nowadays. Many a time I’ve encountered people asking me, “Do you have a girlfriend ?”, “Are you in a relationship ?” or “Don’t you like someone ?”. And giving a wide smile, just like a child, I would say, “No I’m not”. Answering this question has become so simple for me that it doesn’t make feel what am I feeling inside of my heart. I wonder why don’t they combine these three questions ! They could ask me whether I’m single. Anyway, people are people only, they know better how to enquire, and so they would understand this better.

One thing that I would like to say is that I’ve been complimented a lot. For my goods and deeds, for what I am at times and the way I behave at different situations. When someone comes to me to criticise me, I take them quite happily and try to rectify myself as best as possible. Compliment which mean good words are still quite confusing to me. I have found it difficult to maintain a constant personality, to do with the world, you need to be flexible for sure, but at times I have lost myself in the process. This is the ultimate spot of bother for me nowadays. Why have I been there for everyone but no one has come for me back ? Why am I doing these things which the world doesn’t want me to do ? Why have I been trying to be so good to others even after life has given me a lot of kicks in the process ? Where am I living now ? Is there any place for me in anyone’s mind atleast ? These are the questions that still create a panic inside me and when I’m staying calm and keeping myself cool, is creating the burns in the people’s mind.

I’ve another bad habit of thinking in dreams; things that I never say outside are being spoken in dreams. I feel I talk to god though I still don’t believe in it. All in all I try to protect myself and the other person too as it is hard to control your emotions when they are on peak and so it is important to express yourself and not feel yourself down. There are many things which I pray but ultimately I fail to remember when I wake up the next morning. I don’t know who I am or where I have come from but I want to live this life not for years but for a short period of time, wherein I can do good, good to me, to others, to mankind to be more precise. I don’t want to live with any curse over my head and any kind of sin on my skin either. Many times, situation demands something more, and it is the personality or the mode of action that changes according to the situation, but a person will always remain the same. I’ve explained all these things not to impress anyone but to see whether I’m that bad. It’s on people now to decide !

Nothing Gonna Change my love for you !

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh, so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
Theyll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I dont want to live without you.
Nothing’s gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
Ill never ask for more than your love.
Nothings gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through but nothings gonna change my
love for you.
If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us like a guiding star
Ill be there for you if you should need me
You dont have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are.
So come with me and share this view
Ill help you see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now

#Thanka a lot for sending me such a beautiful song.. always in my heart AP ;)